Grammar and Punctuation Assembly Two camps: Grammys and Punks! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes This class play attempts to cover at least the basics of our great English Language - a pretty tough challenge! 'Coverage' includes: Punctuation: Capital Letters Full Stops Exclamation Marks Question Marks Commas Colons Semicolons Brackets Hyphens Quotation Marks Apostrophes Grammar: Nouns Proper Common Collective Abstract Pronouns Adjectives; Verbs Present Past Future Active and Passive Regular and Irregular Adverb; Preposition Conjunction Sample Text Narrator: (Growing increasingly impatient) Yes! Yes! Do please say what you’ve got to say! We do have a few more parts of speech apart from yourself to get through, you know! Grammy 2: (Huffily) Oh very well. I’ll keep it brief! (Punks all cheer) Grammy 2: Well, proper nouns are really just names. (Pauses) There! Is that brief enough for you? Narrator: Excellent! Thank you for that! (To audience) Phew! I thought for one awful moment we were going to be stuck with proper nouns until the end of the assembly! Next! Grammy 3: (Bashfully) Me? Oh I’m just a common noun! Narrator: Oh! Nothing remotely common about you I’m sure! Grammy 3: But that’s what I’m called! Grammy 2: That’s right! I’m proper! And he’s common! Word: Well, there are quite a few other types, like Grammy 4: Collective nouns – for example, a swarm of bees, a herd of sheep Grammy 5: And abstract nouns – things you can’t hold in your hand - like anger, time Narrator: (Looking at watch) Speaking of which, yes, I think that’s enough on nouns! Grammy 6: (Squeaking) But hey! I might be small, but don’t forget me! Narrator: And you are? Grammy 6: I’m a pronoun! Very important I am! Narrator: (To audience) Just like the rest of them! State your business, briefly if you can!

Roald Dahl School Assembly or Class Play Cast size: The small speaking cast of 6 can be increased to include the whole class by adding a supporting cast of characters taken from the five books. September 13th is Roald Dahl Day – this year it is also his centenary. To celebrate this great writer, I, Sue Russell have written an Assembly which attempts to capture just some of the man's genius. It is just a short assembly, looking at 5 of his works - The Magic Finger, BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts; but in looking at these books again, I for one was reminded of Dahl's amazing ability to create the most bizarre characters, and situations .. out of nothing. He was, I think, a genius and his memory stays vividly alive through his numerous brilliant books. The play has a small speaking cast - teacher (narrator) plus 5 students, who are asked to pick their favourite author (Roald Dahl - no surprises there!) and favourite books. These are The Magic Finger, The BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts. The supporting cast i.e. characters taken from these books, is left to the teacher's discretion i.e. depending on how many children there are in the class. Different 'favourites' could obviously be chosen and added to the ones 'my five' chose; and I have similarly left out extracts from the books, plus musical excerpts from the movies which could be added. This assembly can thus be expanded upon in a way to suit the individual class and their Dahl preferences. I hope I have provided a good starting point! If you are interested in looking at more great writers from Britain, I have written a Great British Writers Assembly which, along with Dahl, features the works of C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling. A good resource to have during National Children's Book Week, 1-7 October. Extract Lucy: The Giraffe, the Pelly and Me. Teacher: And why did you choose that one? Lucy: I loved the animal characters in it, including the monkey who isn't mentioned in the title! The three of them - the giraffe, the pelican and the monkey - make up a window cleaning gang, the giraffe acting as a ladder because of his magically long neck; the pelican acting as the bucket, with his special ‘Patented beak' and the monkey acting as the cleaner.

Great Artists Assembly or Class Play - Key Stage I Bruegel and Lowry Script Cast Size - 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes depending on time spent on children's own artwork. (There is a section of the script dedicated to children showing and describing their own work - this section can be omitted thus reducing duration to around 5 - 10 minutes) Sample Script Bruegel: Oh well! Let me tell you now! I had to disguise myself as a peasant Child 12: Why? Bruegel: Oh so that I could see what it was like …. being a peasant! Child 13: And what was it like – being a peasant? Bruegel: Well, I try to show that in my paintings. Teacher: You see, children. Up to this time, only kings and queens and people with lots of money were painted. Narrator: Lucky for us Bruegel came along – and showed us how the poor people lived! (Bruegel goes back to work at his easel) (Lowry looks up from his work, and stands up) Lowry: So did I! Narrator: Pardon? Lowry: I also showed what it was like to be a worker! (Narrator walks over and holds up Lowry painting, to show cast and audience) Child 14: (To Teacher) That’s like the pictures you showed us, Miss! Teacher: Quite so! Child 15: They show us how people lived in the industrial cities of England. Child 16: Smoking factories Child 17: Long streets Child 18: Long people! Narrator: Pardon? Child 19: Oh, he means – the people look a bit like matchstick men! Lowry: (Laughing) That was my style! This script is one of the Famous People Series based on the lives of significant individuals in the past who have contributed to national and international achievements, comparing aspects of life in different periods. This list of ‘greats’ includes: · Queens - Elizabeth I and Victoria · Explorers - Christopher Columbus and Neil Armstrong · Inventors - William Caxton and Tim Berners-Lee · Women: (i) In Civil Rights - Rosa Parks and Emily Davison (ii) Nurses - Florence Nightingale, Mary Seacole and Edith Cavell. I am happy to write on alternative individuals as per my 'write on request' service - so please drop me a line on sue@plays-r-ussell.com

India Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - minimum 10 minutes reading time - this, as explained in Production Notes, could be increased to 30 minutes plus The cast (should that be caste?!) of this Indian Assembly or Class Play is anything but equal with the appearance of three gods - two with 4 arms and the other with 4 heads - which one is the narrator supposed to address? Just one of the many problems facing our narrator - the main one being sheer volume of music, colour, joy and .. well everything that makes India such a vibrant country! Sample Text: Music 2 (Shiva dances across ‘the stage’) (Narrator tries to stop him but is confused by the number of arms – four) Narrator: Er, em, excuse me … but who are you and what are you doing? Shiva: What am I doing? Isn’t it obvious? I’m dancing, of course! Narrator: Well, I think we can all see that. But who are you? Shiva: (Exploding) Who am I? Who am I? Narrator: Well, if you put it like that – yes, who are you? (Whole cast gasps in horror) (Child 7 goes over to Narrator) Child 7: (Aside) Surely you know who this is? Narrator: (Irritably) Well, do you really think I’d be asking if I did? Child 7: It’s Shiva – the Destroyer! (Narrator gasps) Narrator: Oh no! Not that god with the power of life and death? Child 7: That’s the one! Narrator: (To Shiva) Oh I am most dreadfully sorry! I had no idea that it was you, Shiva! Shiva: Oh I’ll forgive you! I guess I do look (waving arms around) pretty ‘armless! Narrator: Well, I wouldn’t say that! I mean, I think I counted … four arms? Shiva: Oh that’s nothing! When you compare it with number of names I have! Narrator: And they are? (Holds up fingers to start counting on) Now, let’s see. Starting with Shiva … Shiva: Er, I don’t think we have time to run through the others – there are over one thousand of them! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’. Other Indian scripts: Divali and the Story of Rama & Sita (as a play within a play - a little like Midsummer Night’s Dream!) plus scripts on Gandhi and on the Indus Valley Civilisation.

Second World War School Assembly or Class Play What was the Blitz? What was it like to be an evacuee? What did Morrisons have to do with bomb shelters? Why did Americans call the first 6 months the ‘phoney war’? (Also available, set of 5 guided reading play scripts, with quizzes - Background/Beginnings of War, The Course of the War, Evacuation, the Blitz and War-time Life/Rationing; plus a collection of First World War scripts - Remembrance Day Assembly, First World War Assembly and First World War Poets Assembly) SAMPLE TEXT Second World War or World War II Assembly Evacuee 5: I was lucky. Although I got separated from my brother, I was looked after by a very kind couple .. and didn’t want to go back to the grimy old city I’d left. Evacuee 1:I was so home sick. But my Mum said she could only visit once a month. Evacuee 2: I wanted to go home too. But it was for our own safety. (All walk off. Sound of bombs and air raid siren. Air Raid Warden rushes on). Warden: (grabbing child): Quick! It’s an air raid! If you’re not quick, you’re dead! Get yourself into a shelter now! Narrator: Yes, once those sirens went on, you really didn’t want to be out in the open. Best be (pointing at 2 adults and 2 children under table) snuggled together, indoors, under your Morrisons Shelter. Mum (brandishing Morrisons bag). Two for one, this week only! ________________________________________ TEACHING ‘COVERAGE’ 6. Unit 9 Second World War Assembly (i) Whose was to blame? (ii) Timeline: 1914 – 1945 - Origins in First World War - Chamberlain’s Appeasement Policy - Fates of different countries - Battle of Britain - Blitz - V.E. Day - Hiroshima/Nagasaki - V.J. Day (iii) Who was involved (location on map) (iv) Evacuees (v) Air Raids/Shelters (vi) Recreation (vii) Rationing (viii) Role of Army, RAF and Navy (ix) Women’s role (x) Anne Frank (xi) Remembrance Sunday (In Flanders Fields) (xii) Today’s World Situation (United Nations) (xiii) Lessons learnt. MUSIC 1. Land of Hope and Glory 2. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run 3. Dad's Army theme 4. Pack up your troubles 5. Imagine -John Lennon

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly or Class Play This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way. And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Sample Text Helena: You are teasing me! You still love Hermia! Lysander: How can you say such a thing? How I do repent, the tedious minutes I with her have spent! Helena: Lysander! This is not the time for bad poetry! Stop your teasing now! Lysander: But why would I not change a raven for a dove? Please, Helena! Come with me now! Let us leave hideous Hermia! Believe me (looking over at the snorting Hermia), you'd be doing me a big favor! Helena: (Sarcastically) So romantic! Men! Who'd have them? (Helena storms off) Lysander: Hmm. I can see I may need another trip to that Charm School! (Turning to Hermia) I've hung around with this one quite long enough. What did I ever see in her? What a sight! I'm off to honor Helena and to be her knight! (Exit) (Hermia wakes, screaming, from a nightmare) Hermia: Lysander! Help me! My worst nightmare ... (Frantically searching through suitcase) Please don't say I've left my make-up bag behind? Other Shakespeare scripts written by Sue Russell: Assemblies: • Macbeth • Different Midsummer Night’s Dream alternative ‘Nightmare’ versions! • Romeo & Juliet – Valentines Assembly • Romeo & Juliet in Love … Well, weren’t they? Guided Reading scripts: • Shakespeare Plays (8 mini condensed versions) • Set of 4 alternative Shakespeare scripts - Hamlet, Macbeth, Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo & Juliet (incl. detailed synopses and lesson plans) • Alternative Hamlet script plus lesson plan • Alternative Macbeth script plus lesson plan • Alternative Midsummer Night's Dream script plus lesson plan • Alternative Romeo & Juliet script plus lesson plan Alternative fairy tales – Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty – which are in the PSHE section of the website. Plus • Take a Book – Different Genres of Writing Assembly • Great British Writers Assembly. This short small cast assembly - 6 speakers (with adaptations for whole class) focuses on the writers *Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling and their books. • Roald Dahl Assembly

Leavers' Assembly for Year 6s This end of year assembly, for Year 6s, is a light-hearted romp through what they have learnt - with reference to The Big Three (Core Subjects) and not forgetting the Nine Foundation Subjects! The focus is on history (Romans through to the present day) but there are plenty of cross-curricular links along with 'mandatory' reference to Literacy and Numeracy Strategies (which ones?!) and other equally 'important' matters - such as what the dinner ladies are serving up! Cast: Written for a year group of around 90, 3 classes - speaking parts for all, but easily adaptable to smaller year group or fewer classes. Duration: The reading time is relatively short (around 10/15 minutes) so favourite poems or extracts from favourite stories could be added - for children to read or recite. Likewise with favourite Art and D.T. projects (evidence for which may still be at home!). Sample Text Shakespeare: What ho? Methinks this principal should learn a few principle facts himself! Like (embracing himself) "Some are born great, some achieve greatness" .... (pauses, pointing towards Principal) but alas "Some have greatness thrust upon them"! Principal: (Striding towards Shakespeare) Now look here, Bill! I'm the one running this show, today. You and your plays can go ... Music 5 Food Glorious Food - Oliver (Loud outburst of "Food Glorious Food" sung by Oliver and boys. Shakespeare and Drake exit, holding their ears) Principal: And who might this scruffy looking lot be? They wouldn't get into my school looking like that! Oliver: (With bowl held out to Principal) More! Please sir, can I have some more? Principal: (Yelling) More?! (Principal looks inside bowl, sniffs and pulls back in disgust) Principal: Ugh! I don't remember this being on the cafeteria menu this morning? (Line of dinner ladies file on, each holding a different dish, and offering food to Oliver, who samples each in turn) Production Directions This assembly was written for a year group consisting of 3 classes (around 30 for each). Thus, there are 3 groups: Like, Dislike and Not Sure (reflecting feelings about school); these then change into the 3 core subjects; and finally the 9 foundation subjects are added. This arrangement can be changed - dividing one class into three or two classes into three. Because of the primary focus being on history, this subject has the greatest number of speakers (52) - the other subjects just having a handful. Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly • It’s Good to be Me Leavers Assembly

School's Out Leavers' Assembly The cast size (30) can easily be adapted up (for a year group) or down, if necessary, to suit class size of less than 30. Duration: Reading time is only about 5 minutes. However, if all 12 songs are used, and say 2 minutes of each are performed, then this takes performance up to around 30 minutes. This is a rough figure depending heavily on how much of each song is used. What does it take to put a smile on those Year 6 faces? Maybe a large dose of great music and some equally great performances .... by the staff?! The lengths teachers will go to - or are we all really just frustrated rock stars underneath?! Easy to produce, great fun to do! Sample Text: Music 1 Yesterday – Beatles (Children file into places, singing as they come in and become seated; at the end of the song, all sit disconsolately, hanging heads in misery; group of teachers stand to one side, listening to their students) Teacher 1: What a beautiful song! Teacher 2: But why the long faces? Teacher 3: Why so sad? Teacher 4: What have you got to feel sad about? Teacher 5: This is your last day at school! Wouldn’t a better choice of music be …? Music 2 School’s Out – Alice Cooper (Teachers sing and perform really ‘over the top’ version of song; students look on in horror) Child 1: And they called us ‘sad’? Child 2: ‘Sad’ has to be the understatement of the year! Child 3: I’d say more like – ‘tragedy’! Teacher 6: (Beaming from ear to ear) Now you’re talking! Music 3 Tragedy – Steps or Bee Gees (Teachers again sing and perform totally ‘over the top’ version of the song; students increasingly alarmed) Child 4: Stop! Stop! Have you all taken leave of your senses? Teacher 7: Well, this is supposed to be a leavers’ assembly, isn’t it? (All teachers fall about laughing) Child 5: But guess what? It’s supposed to be our leavers’ assembly, not yours! Child 6: Yeah! You’ll all still be here this time next year! Child 7: Not like us! Child 8: We’re the ones leaving! Child 9: Not you! Teacher 8: So, why aren’t you celebrating? Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: It’s Good to be Me Leavers Assembly Leavers Assembly for Year 6s Our School’s Got Talent Leavers Assembly Olympics Leavers Assembly

It's Good To Be Me Leavers Assembly Class size - any Duration - open ended This leavers’ assembly can be tailored to any class or year group size; and likewise can be any length. I have provided a 'skeleton script' of around 5 minutes actual reading time but with numerous opportunities to add on e.g. in 'Wish' and 'Achievement' sections. There are also numerous songs/music which can be included or omitted accordingly. There is the additional fun 'option' of the schools staff 'joining in' at the end - but this is optional and can be left out. Sample Text: Child 1: What’s there to celebrate? Child 2: (Holding up Numeracy exercise book) Look at my scores in Maths. Five out of ten, six out of ten, three out of ten … Why do I bother? I’ll never get Maths! Child 3: Huh! Think that’s bad? You should see the marks I get in my spelling tests! You think you’ve got number blindness? (Child 2 nodding in agreement). Well, I’ve sure got a bad case of blindness when it comes to stringing more than two letters together! Child 4: But at least you don’t make everybody around you wish they were deaf! (Starts singing totally off key/out of tune ‘Do Ray Me Far So La Tea Doe’ set of scales. Whole cast clasps their hands over their ears). See what I mean? Teacher: (Uncovering ears) Hey? What? Oh, you mean your slight lack of musicality? Well, maybe there is just a little room for improvement. Child 5: (Holding up bits of woodwork, taped together but falling apart) And what about my latest Design Technology ‘project’? I don’t think I’ll be getting the call to build the next Olympic stadium! Teacher: (Stroking chin, reflectively) Hmm. Maybe not. Child 6: (Holding up ‘art work’ – black dot in middle of yellow paint) And I don’t suppose I’ll be in the Tate Gallery any time soon! Teacher: Ooh. I wouldn’t bank on it – have you been recently? ‘Anything goes’ there! I think your work would fit in perfectly! Child 7: (Breathlessly) But what about me? I try every year to run that one minute mile – but have I got beyond one hundred metres yet? (Starts coughing and clutching his side) Not a chance! Teacher: Enough! Enough! What is wrong with you guys? Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Leavers' Assembly for Year 6's • Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly

The Queen’s 90th Birthday Party Assembly Special half price to celebrate Her Majesty's Big Day! Whilst 'gracing this assembly' with her presence, the 'party lady' seems just a little reluctant to join in the festivities. So what can our narrator and supporting cast do to change this situation? Well, did someone say it was Her Majesty's 90th birthday? Then, let's hear it for those 90 reasons to celebrate! Sample Text Music 1 Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory (Cast files in with Music 1 in background; all take their seats) Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects on my birthday! 90 years! Not bad, eh? Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, your Majesty! But we are here today to celebrate your birthday with you! Queen: Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about that! Narrator: Oh? And why’s that? Queen: (Wistfully) Oh I don’t know. Once one has had as many birthdays as one has .. Narrator: You mean, you’re bored of birthdays? Queen: Well, I’m not quite the party creature I used to be! Narrator: Nonsense! And you know what? That’s what we’re here to prove to you today! Queen: Oh really! Well .. (Queen looks uncertain, shaking her head) Narrator: (To Cast) OK. Time to make Her Majesty’s day! Queen: (Sighing) You can try .. Narrator: Well, with ninety reasons to celebrate your birthday I don’t see how we can go wrong! Whole cast: (Exclaiming together) Ninety? Narrator: You heard! Ninety! And if we’re going to fit those ninety into the next (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, we’d better get a move on! Off we go! Queen: Well, you don’t mind if I make myself comfortable on this here throne? (Queen ‘settles herself comfortably’ onto throne) Queen: Ah that’s better. Do start! Narrator: Well, there are quite a few perks to being Queen, I think you’ll agree? (Queen nods) Child 1: For starters, you get to have two birthdays a year! Can’t be bad! That’s your real one on 21st April and another official one in June!

Rio 2016 Olympic Ode Suggestions on how to use This poem is made up of three parts, taken from the three words of the Olympic Motto - Citius, Altius, Fortius: I. Faster II. Higher III. Stronger Each part is made up of six verses (with chorus to start and/or finish) 18 speakers - 1 verse each, with whole class reading the chorus. 21 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning of each part 24 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning and end of each part 30 speakers - As for 24 speakers but including six extra verses provided at the end of III, made up of three winners and three losers. I. Faster Chorus Faster, higher, stronger, Olympic champions, we. Faster, higher, stronger, That's all we want to be! Runner 1: The training's over We're on the track We're primed for action There's no looking back. Runner 2: On your marks Get set, go! It's now or never We can't be slow. Other scripts available from Sue Russell: ASSEMBLIES 1. Brazil Host Country to 2016 Rio Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. History of the Olympics Assembly 6. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 7. Olympics Assembly for Key Stage 1 Rio 2016 8. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers!

Chocolate Assembly (Also available in Key Stage I version) Cast of 30 though easily adaptable up or down. Duration around 15 - 20 minutes. This script on Chocolate covers all subjects of the curriculum i.e. it's a class theme. And how can it not be a popular one when there are so many of everyone's favourite indulgence in it - CHOCOLATES! While covering a few of these (make that 32 - and that doesn't cover the box contents!) there is ample coverage of chocolate's 2,000 year old history - way back to the ancient Mayan culture, .. and not forgetting the amazing Mr Cadbury of course! As chocolate is 'the class theme' there are cross curricular links - covering all primary school subjects - this great challenge rewarded by a generous dose of .... you've guessed! Chocolate! I'm guessing of all my assemblies this one will go down best with both cast and audience! Don't miss out! Sample Text: Child 2: (To Head) And I believe you have a box or two, hidden away, for your staff? (Head turns to Music Teacher) Head: Oops! It seems our secret is out! Child 2: No secret! We only had to look at all the weight our teachers were putting on! (Head reluctantly hands box of Roses chocolates to Child 2) Child 2: Thank you! Ah! (Rubbing tummy) That’s better! Head: (Grunting) Don’t tell me! This is the P.S.H.E. part! Child 2: Correct! Whole cast: (Rubbing tummies) Chocolate makes you feel so good! Child 3: And then there are all those lovely colours, flavours and pretty wrappers. Take this box of Cadburys Roses for example. (Each child holds up the sweet they are naming) Child 4: Strawberry Dream! Child 5: Golden Barrel! Child 6: Tangy Orange Crème! Child 7: Brazilian Darkness! (Child 8 walks over and takes a box of Milk Tray from protesting Head; the opened box is then offered to Child 9 - 12 in turn, calling out names as they take them)

World Cup Rugby PRIDE Assembly - written by Sue Russell aka plays-r-ussell Cast of 25 Duration: around 15 - 20 minutes reading time not including ‘suggested’ music This Class Play sets out to demonstrate the importance of P.R.I.D.E. - an acronym for Positive attitude; Respect for yourself and others; the ability to make Intelligent decisions; time to Dream; and not forgetting all the Effort that needs to be put in - in all walks of life. It provides the perfect way of demonstrating what it takes to make it in life - the kind of success story all children can aspire to. Also available as set of 5 guided reading play scripts. (This script was originally inspired by The Celtics basketball team, in Boston - featuring 17 basketball players, 1 coach, 3 fans, 3 dancers plus mascot but I have adapted it for use by Rugby World Cup, Football World Cup and the Olympics - all available as separate scripts .. with modifications according to sport)

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Harvest Festival Whole Class Assembly This class assembly, written for cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) is a kind of alternative Harvest Festival, the suggestion being the class are the crop with teachers as harvesters. Duration around 10 - 20 minutes depending on how much music is used. Starting with hymn 'We plough the fields and scatter' and ending with beautiful Michael Jackson song - 'We are the world, we are the children' which sums up the message behind this assembly. Also available - another Harvest Festival script written for just 6 speakers (feathery fowl!) but with suggestions in productions notes as to how to convert this into whole class assembly. Sample Text Child 1: It’s easy because all you have to do is give or share whatever gift you have! Narrator: Wait a minute! You’re losing me! (Repeating) ‘Whatever gift you have’? Child 2: Right! We all have our own special gift to give! Child 3: Bit like a seed in all of us. Child 4: Sometimes that seed germinates by itself Music 2 (Enter Child 5, singing, as ‘rock star’ – choice of ‘rock star’ track down to children) Narrator: (Applauding) Wow! That’s some voice you’ve got! Child 5: Well, thank you. But it wouldn’t mean anything to me unless I could share it with my fans! (Exit Child 5) (Enter Child 6, writing) (Narrator walks over to Child 6, who gives notebook to him/her to read) Narrator: Wow! How did you come up with all these ideas? What a story! Child 6: Thank you. And it’s the fact I can share it with all my hundreds of thousands of readers that makes it so special to me. (Exit Child 6) Child 7: But we’re not of course suggesting we can all be rock stars or famous authors! Child 8: Some of us, despite huge talent, may reach a much smaller audience. Child 9: Fame isn’t everything and it is only the tiny minority that achieve it. Child 10: Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t all strive to make the very most of whatever gift we possess. Narrator: Ah! I see! (Pauses) By ‘gift’ you mean ‘talent’? Child 11: That’s right! And we all have our very own special talent – even if it doesn’t bring us fame and riches! Child 12: (Grunting and pulling a face) Hmm. That’s a shame!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach